For some of us it’s time to get our GROWN WOMEN FRIENDSHIP on. We are no longer in High School and should have experienced enough in life to realize just because someone is willing to fight along with you, gossip and allow you to converse about all your problems 24/7 doesn't mean they're your real friend. I know a lot of you aren’t ready for this, so those that are will receive and take heed and those that aren’t will keep it moving. How do you define a friend? Most of us would say someone who is there whenever we need them, someone who you can rely on, someone who will always have your back and the list goes on and on with “YOU” always being the main focus. How do “I” know because I was once an “I” friend too.
Some of us pick our friends the wrong way and for the wrong reasons. Sometimes we pick our friends because of our current situation. We pick people that are in the same place that we are mentally, psychically and spiritually, because we know they can relate to our drama or have time to deal with our foolishness, but the only person we’re hurting by doing this is ourselves. Even our friends can be a comfort zone for us. Sometimes we think the person that is always there to answer the phone and talk is the person that have our back, but that’s not always the case. I have asked a couple of my friends why didn’t you call me when you were going through certain issues and their answers were, you’re always busy or I knew what you were going to say, so being the person that I am (very inquisitive) I asked, so who did you call and why? Nine times out of ten they reached out to the person that could relate to their problems or was willing to go through the grieving process with them, so instead of a pity party for one they now had company.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some cold hearted woman who don’t make time for her friends, but I’m not going to be your personal therapist either. No you can’t call me all the time after 9pm to talk about your drama, I have a beautiful family that I’m trying to nurture and during this time we are trying to wind down from our day and get ready for the next, yes things happen and calling occasionally is understandable. No I’m not going to get involved in your love life, when we have spoken about the same issues a million times. It’s not fair to my family or my spouse to hear me talking to you about your mate 24/7. No it’s not Okay for you to call me when I’m in the middle of working to shoot the breeze, we have to respect each other’s time. I always start out my conversation with “Hey, are you available to talk” and if the answer is “NO” you respect that persons answer and move on. Like I said in the beginning sometimes it not the one who answers the phone all the time that have your back. There’s an old saying “Misery loves company”. This was written to make you think “Why are certain friends in your life and what standards do you use when selecting friends".
Some of you won’t get this blog until you move into the next phase of life. I was once that friend that answered her phone 24/7. I had meaningless conversations for hours even when I knew I had other things to do, but I was also miserable and sometimes it felt good to hear that I wasn’t alone. Thanks to God and growth I have grown a lot and realize my time is valuable and not to call my friends and bother them with my drama. It’s either I’m going to do something about it or not. I had to be the change I wanted to see or lead by example. So, I no longer think my friends have to have the ride or die mentally to be a true friend.
Some of us pick our friends the wrong way and for the wrong reasons. Sometimes we pick our friends because of our current situation. We pick people that are in the same place that we are mentally, psychically and spiritually, because we know they can relate to our drama or have time to deal with our foolishness, but the only person we’re hurting by doing this is ourselves. Even our friends can be a comfort zone for us. Sometimes we think the person that is always there to answer the phone and talk is the person that have our back, but that’s not always the case. I have asked a couple of my friends why didn’t you call me when you were going through certain issues and their answers were, you’re always busy or I knew what you were going to say, so being the person that I am (very inquisitive) I asked, so who did you call and why? Nine times out of ten they reached out to the person that could relate to their problems or was willing to go through the grieving process with them, so instead of a pity party for one they now had company.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some cold hearted woman who don’t make time for her friends, but I’m not going to be your personal therapist either. No you can’t call me all the time after 9pm to talk about your drama, I have a beautiful family that I’m trying to nurture and during this time we are trying to wind down from our day and get ready for the next, yes things happen and calling occasionally is understandable. No I’m not going to get involved in your love life, when we have spoken about the same issues a million times. It’s not fair to my family or my spouse to hear me talking to you about your mate 24/7. No it’s not Okay for you to call me when I’m in the middle of working to shoot the breeze, we have to respect each other’s time. I always start out my conversation with “Hey, are you available to talk” and if the answer is “NO” you respect that persons answer and move on. Like I said in the beginning sometimes it not the one who answers the phone all the time that have your back. There’s an old saying “Misery loves company”. This was written to make you think “Why are certain friends in your life and what standards do you use when selecting friends".
Some of you won’t get this blog until you move into the next phase of life. I was once that friend that answered her phone 24/7. I had meaningless conversations for hours even when I knew I had other things to do, but I was also miserable and sometimes it felt good to hear that I wasn’t alone. Thanks to God and growth I have grown a lot and realize my time is valuable and not to call my friends and bother them with my drama. It’s either I’m going to do something about it or not. I had to be the change I wanted to see or lead by example. So, I no longer think my friends have to have the ride or die mentally to be a true friend.
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