Everything always seems to go back to “SELF”. You have to make a choice when it comes to your relationship and that choice is, not to expect your mate to be this knight and shining armor, mind reader or dumping ground for how your life isn’t going. Nor should you allow your relationship to make or break your day or your life. Let me expand on my thoughts.
First you have to remember this, “Every single couple you know has problems”. I don’t care what they tell you, but they do. Relationship problems stem anywhere from cheating to financial issues and when you’re going through it, every problem is equal, we magnify all of them to the 10th power. I'm going to talk about a couple of things life have taught me and by NO means am I saying my relationship is perfect, but I have learned so much and i'm willing to share it. I live life one day at a time and live it like it's Golden.
Number 1: I have learned to NEVER, EVER, EVER compare my relationship to someone else’s there’s a saying “The reason why we struggle with insecurities is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s HIGHLIGHT REEL. It sounds something like this, Oh My God so and so is so happy, look what he bought her, he take care of all the bills, he always give her a shout out on Facebook, he bought her a brand new car, look at the time he spends with his kids, they go out on date night and the list goes on and on. I’m sorry but NO man want to hear that 24/7 think about if the shoe was on the other foot, you would be so upset that you just may say “Then go ahead and move with so and so” lol. No one like to be compared to another, not unless it's in a positive way. If you want to express your feelings always try to do so in a loving manner or the way you would like to be approached.
I’m not telling you to suppress your feelings. I’m just asking you to curb your thoughts and think before you speak. Why are you making comparisons? A wise women once told me, when you start to argue about him leaving up the toilet seat it’s normally a bigger issue, because you can always put the toilet seat down and if you know you mentioned it over and over, what good is repeating it again while you’re angry. So think about why you’re saying it before you say it and what good would it do to say something now while you’re upset instead of saying it in a loving manner when you've had the opportunity to cool down
Remember this; people will only show you what they want you to see and that's just fine, who want the world to know about all their problems. I don't! I talk to the Lord and if he can't guide me to the right person to talk to, than why do I need to broadcast it to a bunch of people who just may be in the same situation I'm in. You never know what people are going through so never compare or envy other peoples relationships, because you never know why those flowers are being delivered, it may mean sorry for the drama I put you through or that gift may mean, let me shut her up so I can do what I want this weekend. So be happy with your own life and issues, because if we had the opportunity to put all our problems in pile, you just may take yours back lol.
I’m not going to hit you over the head with too much info today so I leave you with #1"Never Compare Your Relationship to Someone Else's". Thursday I will share #2 which if we were going in order should of been #1Why It's important to know yourself and make God your foundation.
This is not a blog that I want you to carry in your mind like a guide to dating 101, this is just something for you to think about. If it speaks to you than I hope you receive it, if not then so be it ;). Not everything is for everybody. Blog with me!!