Chloe Womack - Helping Women, Become Their Dream Woman, By Loving Themselves 365
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So You Want To Be A Leader

1/22/2015

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There are so many books in reference to being a leader, but the best books to date are those that thoroughly explain the question that most of us have in reference to being a leader. How does one person fail at leading and the other person is a complete success. I think the biggest mistake people make is thinking that a title makes a person a leader. That couldn't be the furthest from the truth. Warren Bennis said it best "The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born-that there is a genetic factor to leadership. That’s nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true. Leaders are made rather than born".


The best definition I was given in reference to being a leader was " To be a leader you have to be able to engage, plan and attack goals". Sounds about right to me, but one of my English Professors use to always say "if you truly understand the meaning of something you'll be able to translate said meaning in your own words". So when I'm asked what my definition of a great leader is I give my own version "Being a leader is simply someone who has the ability to promote the vision, but also have the skills to help motivate others to achieve the goal and allowing others to become leaders in the process".


You see, being the leader doesn't mean anything if you don't know how to properly lead. All the great leaders know that great leadership is about empowering. Empowering your team, clients, children, friends and family. A great leader knows that he or she doesn't have to be in the front lines screaming "I am the leader and do as I say". A great leader also knows how to step away and let others utilize their talents and gifts  in the areas they're lacking. Why hire someone who's just as bad as you in English to be your assistant and draft your memo's and important documents. Yes, you hire the best of the best in that area. True leaders know that when you lead properly you are investing your time and skills in someone whom you expect in return to combine their knowledge and skills and one day surpass you. Yes, I said surpass you. It's okay if you don't get it. It's a maturity skill you will one day acquire.

One thing you must remember is the foundation of leadership must exist first.

This week I decided to focus on the 4 foundations of a good leader and the first quality is "Maturity".

Maturity

Maturity is one of the essential ingredients of leadership.


One thing we have all learned is age is no guarantee of maturity. Maturity is made up of: integrity, empathy, strength, services, time management, communication, planing and decision making. Maturity is one of the most important skills one must obtain to become a leader, because the word leader is so powerful and most of us can get engulfed in the ego side of the title, but a mature leaders knows leadership is an influence and not a title, status or position. leadership will become something you are more than something you do. it is not self-serving or self centered. 

You must mature into your leadership skills. The leader I was last year is not the leader I am today. If I would of taken on some of the projects I wanted to or let my ego lead me into something I wasn't mature enough to handle I would be up the creek with no paddle. I was mature enough to know it wasn't my time and mature enough to seek out the knowledge and skills I was lacking. There are so many people that take on the leadership roles and they're really not ready for it. Let me list a couple of things about mature leaders

  1. As corny as it may sound a mature leader knows there's no "I" in team. 
  2. Self Awareness - Mature leaders know their strengths and weakness
  3. Self Regulating - Great at controlling their emotions
  4. Empathetic - They understand the emotions of others
  5. Motivating - Mature Leaders have passion/drive for achievement and continuous improvement
  6. Social Skills - They are able to build a rapport with and influence others



Next week I'll be sharing the second foundation, which is DECISIVENESS.


Chloe Womack






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Dear Daughter

1/16/2015

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While hanging out with a couple of friends someone asked me "Well Ms. Got it all together, out of everything you've learned about relationships what's the one main thing would you share with your daughter?" Well my first response which I made with a big smile on my face is "I'm far from having my stuff together", but I've learned somethings that help me walk my walk while I talk my talk. But a sister have a long ways to go and to answer her question I responded with "Hurt people, hurt people". 

I decided years ago that I would never say anything bad about my ex husband to my children. Heck, I don't talk bad about him to anyone, because he's part of my past and every lesson there was for him to teach me I accepted, received and got over it. Here's a little side note that may help you understand this a little better "Attention goes where energy flows". If you're constantly living in your past, that's exactly where you'll stay. My thirst for growth and knowledge would never allow me to stay stagnant or live a life of mediocrity, but getting back to my answer.

Since my daughter read my work I'll speak directly to her. My Sweet Princess, hurt people, hurt people. We are only responsible for what we contribute to a relationship and should never take on the insecurities, hurt and pain of others. I'm not saying we shouldn't be supportive, but we have to be so in tuned with our mind, body and spirit to recognize a toxic relationship when we stumble upon one. Unfortunately, hurt people don't wear a sign on their faces and aren't that easy to spot until their hurt and pain start affecting your energy. I believe that we have no control over the people we attract, but I do believe we're responsible for how we allow others to deposit and make withdrawals from our mind, body and spirit. Unfortunately/fortunately I've only been in two real relationships in my entire life, but I'm also a life/living coach and have seen and heard it all in reference to relationships and one thing I know for sure is every hurt, insecure or arrogant man eventually will show you who they are, but by then most women are normally in the "Oh I love him phase and are willing to accept damaged goods instead of having to hit the dating scene again" and you know what, once you decide to stay after that you've decided to take ownership of the problem and can't blame anyone but yourself for what happens going forward. 



I could of taken the easy way out and responded with some type of man bashing answer, but that's not what I try to teach my children. My goal is to raise loving, but responsible children or should I say adults. I'm at wits end with women accusing men for their problems. It's ownership time and the only way to own up to our bad choices is to become whole and knowledgeable. I challenge each and every women to make a list of everything they want in a man. Go ahead, please make your list before you read anything else. Now, take a look at that list and answer this question. Do you have the qualities you seek. If you do, I applaud you if you don't I made my point and you have work to do before you try to enter any union/relationship. We have to become the person we seek. It's nothing like getting in a relationship and depending on your mate to compensate for something you should be able to give or do yourself. 


Chloe "Rocks"


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    Chloe Womack is the name, and I'm living my life like it's GOLDEN. Too bad I can't sing! God has blessed me with a host of other talents to make up for it. I'm an Author, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, and Radio Host. So why did I decide to write a Blog? Because there are so many other parts of Chloe that I would like to share. Sometimes I just want to take off the work clothes, and makeup and just be me. So here it is, WELCOME TO MY WORLD!

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