Ok, let's not get side tracked. In my twenties and thirties I suffered from envy, big time. Now, that I sit back and think about it. My envy and jealousy held me back from a lot of opportunities. When we're jealous we tend to overthink and become very controlling. We don't think about what we could learn from someone who's in the position we wish to be in. We begin to make up false dialogue's in our head about why we don't like someone or what they're doing. I told you guys once before, I keep it 100. When we start to exhibit jealousy we quickly start sniffing out a problem that isn't there. Not to get off my last statement, but do you know medical practitioners are starting to link jealousy and envy to "Stress and Alzheimer's in women?" and we all know stress is a silent killer.
Ok, so how do we help get that little green eyed monster under control?
1. Start surrounding yourself with GREAT people. People that are doing better than yourself. Get in the habit of congratulating your friends and people you see doing what you wish to do or simply out there living their life to the fullest. Nothing kills a bad habit like positivity.
2. When in doubt work on your self-esteem. Like I always said "Self-Esteem" is the foundation. It's normally the root cause of "MOST" situations. When you're comfortable with who and what you are, you don't normally play the comparison game. You're normally grounded in your self worth. People with good self-esteem normally know, just because your light is shining bright doesn't take away from my light. It actually adds value to me if I'm surrounded by you.
3. NO APPROVAL NEEDED. Stop seeking approval. When we seek approval, we're telling the world we need their stamp of approval to feel like we're doing something or to feel accomplished. How is this linked to jealousy? Because, we must become ok with where we are in life as we continue to work on where we want to be, without the need to seek approval from our equal peers. And I believe we're all equal to each other. Someone may be more experienced than you, but it doesn't make them better than you. In the day and age of social media we feel the need to keep up with what we're told is the latest and greatest trend or who is the latest and greatest person.
4. Detach. Learn to detach yourself from the world every now and then. Honestly, learn how to detach yourself at least once a day. I love prayer and meditation. I also like dancing and singing (Nope, I can't sing, but it doesn't stop me from literally killing a Beyonce song.. Literally) Do something that doesn't require too much thinking. Meditation allows me to embrace the silence. It allows me to refocus and reenergize my mind, body and spirit.
5. Jealousy is normally a sign of something that needs to be dealt with internally. We must learn to "Self Check". We must learn to dig deep when we realize we have these feelings. I love to tell my clients, learn to self check, so the world don't have to do it for you. Get rid of "social expectations". Sometimes we have to get rid of learned behaviors and beliefs that simply do us no justice. Pay attention to your reaction to other people's success. Example. we normally envy those who are most like us. Envy is often shameful. If you're trying to figure out if you're being envious about something. Simply ask yourself would you express your thoughts and feeling out loud. Normally the answer is "NO". If we can become more aware of it, we can normally learn how to deal with it.
5. Gratitude. What's the solution to most of our bad habits, simply doing the opposite. Practice gratitude. Get those journals out and start writing. Write what you're grateful for on daily basis. When we focus on our own garden, we normally start to appreciate and love our own growth, because we know what work was put into it. When we start to focus on someone else's garden we lose respect for own.
New Release Coming: May 2018 "Becoming Your Dream Woman"
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Background History: Mentor, Speaker, Writer and Coach
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